Note to readers: I started writing this post on February 8 but delayed the posting.
I think that everyone that travels away from home has a list of fears. My list consisted of mostly "what if" type of questions. What if I don't like it there? What if I get fired? What if my house catches on fire? What if...? You know a long list of things that rattled around in my head that kept my mind occupied. The last and seemingly most important question was "What if someone in my family dies while I'm overseas?" Of all the questions I've asked myself, that was the one I never really wanted to find out the answer to.
Now I am face to face with a complex and painful answer. Most people would easily say they would jump on the next flight out and be with their family during this time. I said the same thing 2 months ago when my coworkers and I had a similar conversation and we each came up with a short list of people that would travel home for in the event of their passing. Most of our list were pretty standard: mother, father, grandparents, and siblings (depends on which one). Seriously, someone said that it depended on which sibling it was that passed away that would warrant a trip back to the states from Kuwait. But when you are thousands of miles away from home and money is not stockpiling in your account you have to make such concessions and that is a brutal part of life overseas.
Since September, I've been living in an "overseas bubble". That simply means I've been living my life not really to concerned about what was happening in the states. I would call home once a week, email family and friends, send messages on Facebook, and G-Chat but didn't have a real connection to what was happening because I wasn't there. So nothing that occurred in the states shook me to the core until Thursday (Feb 7th) morning.
Thursday (Feb 7th) was a typical end of the work week day for me. I always start the day the same way each morning with music, so my headphones were still in my phone when I walked away from my desk for a few minutes. When I returned, I saw that I had four missed calls from Mom. My heart dropped because I knew that something horrible was waiting for me on the other end of the phone. As I tried to call her back, I got two emails from her saying "Call Me". At that point I don't know which was moving faster, my heart or my fingers. After several unsuccessful attempts to call her back, we finally spoke to each other. Her first question was "Have you been on Facebook?" I was shocked by the question but quickly replied no, but that was not completely true. Just moments before arriving to work I logged on only to post "Question of the day: Where should I see Mrs. BKC?" That was me being in my overseas bubble again. If only I had taken a few minutes to scroll down FB after posting I would have seen my cousin's post related to what my mother was seconds away from telling me. "Well", she said in a tone only reserved for sad news, "momma passed away earlier today." I held back sobbing long enough to hear the details of what happened then I broke down crying like a baby. All the while two of my students stood near my desk in shock that their teacher was balled up in a chair crying. And just that fast my overseas bubble had popped.
More on the aftermath later, I gotta watch Scandal now.
